Diamond Age or a Young Lady's Illustrated Primer Read online

  Clearly, she was sitting in her closetlike office next door watching them with cine monitors. Once, Nell was sitting in Joy diligently absorbing a lecture about the Lend-Lease Program. When she heard the squeaky door from Miss Stricken’s office swing open behind her, like all the other girls she suppressed the panicky urge to look around. She heard Miss Stricken’s heels popping up her aisle, heard the whir of the ruler, and then suddenly felt her knuckles explode.

  “Hairdressing is a private, not a public activity, Nell,” Miss Stricken said. “The other girls know this; now you do too.”

  Nell’s face burned, and she wrapped her good hand around her damaged one like a bandage. She did not understand anything until one of the other girls caught her eye and made a corkscrewing motion with her index finger up near one temple: Apparently Nell had been twisting her hair around her finger, which she often did when she was reading the Primer or thinking hard about any one thing.

  The ruler was such a pissant form of discipline, compared to a real beating, that she could not take it seriously at first and actually found it funny the first few times. As the months went by, though, it seemed to get more painful. Either Nell was becoming soft, or– more likely-the full dimensions of the punishment were beginning to sink in. She had been such an outsider at first that nothing mattered. But as she began to excel in the other classes and to gain the respect of teachers and students alike, she found herself with pride to lose. Part of her wanted to rebel, to throw everything away so that it could not be used against her. But she enjoyed the other classes so much that she couldn’t bear to think further of the possibility.

  One day Miss Stricken decided to concentrate all her attentions on Nell. There was nothing unusual about that-it was standard to randomly single out particular scholars for intensive enforcement. With twenty minutes left in the hour, Miss Stricken had already gotten Nell on the right hand for hair-twisting and on the left for nail-biting, when, to her horror, Nell realized that she was scratching her nose and that Miss Stricken was standing in the aisle glaring at her like a falcon. Both of Nell’s hands shot into her lap, beneath the desk.

  Miss Stricken walked up to her deliberately, pop pop pop.

  “Your right hand, Nell,” she said, “just about here.” And she indicated with the end of the ruler an altitude that would be a convenient place for the assault– rather high above the desk, so that everyone in the room could see it.

  Nell hesitated for a moment, then held her hand up.

  “A bit higher, Nell,” Miss Stricken said.

  Nell moved her hand a bit higher.

  “Another inch should do it, I think,” Miss Stricken said, appraising the hand as if it were carved in marble and recently excavated from a Greek temple.

  Nell could not bring herself to raise the hand any higher.

  “Raise it one more inch, Nell,” Miss Stricken said, “so that the other girls can observe and learn along with you.”

  Nell raised her hand just a bit.

  “That was rather less than an inch, I should think,” Miss Stricken said.

  Other girls in the class began to titter-their faces were all turned back toward Nell, and she could see their exultation, and somehow Miss Stricken and the ruler became irrelevant compared to the other girls. Nell raised her hand a whole inch, saw the windup out of the corner of her eye, heard the whir. At the last moment, on an impulse, she flipped her hand over, caught the ruler on her palm, grabbed it, and twisted in a way that Dojo had taught her, bending it against the grain of Miss Stricken’s fingers so that she was forced to let go. Now Nell had the ruler, and Miss Stricken was disarmed.

  Her opponent was a bulging sort of woman, taller than average, rather topheavy on those heels, the sort of teacher whose very fleshiness becomes the object of morbid awe among her gamine pupils, whose personal toilet practices-the penchant for dandruff, the habitually worn-out lipstick, the little wad of congealed saliva at the corner of the mouth-loom larger in her students’ minds than the Great Pyramids or the Lewis and Clark Expedition. Like all other women, Miss Stricken benefited from a lack of external genitalia that would make it more difficult for Nell to incapacitate her, but nevertheless, Nell could think of half a dozen ways to leave her a bloody knot on the floor and not waste more than a quarter of a minute in the process. During her time with Constable Moore, noting her benefactor’s interest in war and weapons, she had taken up a renewed interest in martial arts, had paged back in the Primer to the Dinosaur’s Tale and been pleased but hardly surprised to discover that Dojo was still holding lessons there, picking up just where he and Belle the Monkey had left off.

  Thinking of her friend Dinosaur and her sensei, Dojo the Mouse, she suddenly felt shame far deeper than anything Miss Stricken or her sniggering classmates could inflict. Miss Stricken was a stupid hag, and her classmates were snot-nosed clowns, but Dojo was her friend and her teacher, he had always respected her and given her his full attention, and he had carefully taught her the ways of humility and self-discipline. Now she had perverted his teachings by using her skill to take Miss Stricken’s ruler. She could not have been more ashamed.

  She handed the ruler back, raised her hand high in the air, and heard but did not feel the impacts of the ruler, some ten in all. “I shall expect you in my office after evening prayers, Nell,” Miss Stricken said when she was finished.

  “Yes, Miss Stricken,” Nell said.

  “What are you girls looking at?” blurted Mrs. Disher, who was running the class today. “Turn around and pay attention!” And with that it was all over. Nell sat in her desk for the rest of the hour as if carved from a solid block of gypsum.

  Her interview with Miss Stricken at the end of the day was short and businesslike, no violence or even histrionics. Nell was informed that her performance in the Joy phase of the curriculum was so deficient that it placed her in danger of failing and being expelled from the school altogether, and that her only hope was to come in each Saturday for eight hours of supplementary study.

  Nell wished more than anything that she could refuse. Saturday was the only day of the week when she did not have to attend school at all. She always spent the day reading the Primer, exploring the fields and forests around Dovetail, or visiting Harv down in the Leased Territories.

  She felt that, through her own mistakes, she had ruined her life at Miss Matheson’s Academy. Until recently, Miss Stricken’s classes had been nothing more than a routine annoyance-an ordeal that she had to sit through in order to experience the fun parts of the curriculum. She could look back on a time only a couple of months ago when she would come home with her mind aglow from all the things she had learned in Brilliance, and when the Joy part was just an indistinct smudge around the edge. But in recent weeks, Miss Stricken had, for some reason, loomed larger and larger in her view of the place. And somehow, Miss Stricken had read Nell’s mind and had chosen just the right moment to step up her campaign of harassment. She had timed today’s events perfectly. She had brought Nell’s most deeply hidden feelings out into the open, like a master butcher exposing the innards with one or two deft strokes of the knife. And now everything was ruined. Now Miss Matheson’s Academy had vanished and become Miss Stricken’s House of Pain, and there was no way for Nell to escape from that house without giving up, which her friends in the Primer had taught her she must never do.

  Nell’s name went up on a board at the front of the classroom labeled, in heavy brass letters, SUPPLEMENTARY CURRICULUMSTUDENTS. Within a few days, her name had been joined by two others: Fiona Hackworth and Elizabeth Finkle-McGraw. Nell’s disarming of the fearsome Miss Stricken had already become the stuff of oral legend, and her two friends had been so inspired by the act of defiance that they had gone to elaborate lengths to get themselves in trouble too. Now, the three best students of Miss Matheson’s Academy were all doomed to Supplementary Curriculum.

  Each Saturday, Nell, Fiona, and Elizabeth would arrive at the school at seven o’clock, enter the room, and sit down
in the front row in adjacent desks. This was part of Miss Stricken’s fiendish plan. A less subtle tormentor would have placed the girls as far apart as possible to prevent them from talking to each other, but Miss Stricken wanted them right next to each other so that they would be more tempted to visit and pass notes.

  There was no teacher in the room at any time. They assumed that they were being monitored, but they never really knew. When they entered, each one of them had a pile of books on her desk-old books bound in chafed leather. Their job was to copy the books out by hand and leave the pages neatly stacked on Miss Stricken’s desk before they went home. Usually, the books were transcripts of debates from the House of Lords, from the nineteenth century.

  During their seventh Saturday in Supplementary Curriculum, Elizabeth Finkle-McGraw suddenly dropped her pen, slammed her book shut, and threw it against the wall.

  Nell and Fiona could not keep themselves from laughing. But Elizabeth did not convey the impression of being in a very lighthearted mood. The old book had scarcely come to rest on the floor before Elizabeth had run over to it and begun kicking at it.

  With each blow a furious grunt escaped from her gorge. The book absorbed this violence impassively, driving Elizabeth into a higher rage; she dropped to her knees, flung the cover open, and began to rip out pages by the fistful.

  Nell and Fiona looked at each other, suddenly serious. The kicking had been funny, but something about the tearing of pages disturbed them both. “Elizabeth! Stop it!” Nell said, but Elizabeth gave no signs of having heard her. Nell ran up to Elizabeth and hugged her from behind. Fiona scurried in a moment later and picked up the book.

  “God damn it!” Elizabeth bellowed, “I don’t care about any of the goddamn books, and I don’t care about the Primer either!”

  The door banged open. Miss Stricken stomped in, dislodged Nell with a simple body check, got both arms around Elizabeth’s shoulders, and manhandled her out the door.

  A few days later, Elizabeth left on a lengthy vacation with her parents, jumping from one New Atlantis clave to another in the family’s private airship, working their way across the Pacific and North America and finally to London itself, where they settled in for several months. In the first few days, Nell received one letter from her, and Fiona received two. After that they received no response to their letters and eventually stopped trying. Elizabeth’s name was removed from the Supplementary Curriculum plaque.

  Nell and Fiona soldiered on. Nell had reached the point where she could transcribe the old books all day long without actually absorbing a single word. During her first weeks in Supplementary Curriculum she had been frightened; in fact, she had been surprised at the level of her own fear and had come to realize that Authority, even when it refrained from violence, could be as disturbing a specter as anything she had seen in her earlier years. After the incident with Elizabeth, she became bored for many months, then furious for quite a while until she realized, in conversations with Duck and Purple, that her anger was eating her up inside. So with a conscious effort, she went back to being bored again.

  The reason she’d been furious was that copying out those books was such an unforgivably stupid waste of time. There was no end to what she could have learned reading the Primer for those eight hours. For that matter, the normal curriculum at Miss Matheson’s Academy would have been perfectly fine as well. She was tormented by the irrationality of this place.

  One day, when she returned from a trip to the washroom, she was startled to notice that Fiona had hardly copied out a single page, though they had been there for hours.

  After this, Nell made it a practice to look at Fiona from time to time. She noticed that Fiona never stopped writing, but she was not paying attention to the old books. As she finished each page, she folded it up and placed it in her reticule. From time to time, she would stop and stare dreamily out the window for a few minutes, and then resume; or she might place both hands over her face and rock back and forth silently in her chair for a while before giving herself over to a long burst of ardent writing that might cover several pages in as many minutes.

  Miss Stricken cruised into the room late one afternoon, took the stack of completed pages from Nell’s desk, flipped through them, and allowed her chin to decline by a few minutes of arc. This nearly imperceptible vestige of a nod was her way of saying that Nell was dismissed for the day. Nell had come to understand that one way for Miss Stricken to emphasize her power over the girls was for her to make her wishes known through the subtlest possible signs, so that her charges were forced to watch her anxiously at all times. Nell took her leave; but after proceeding a few steps down the corridor, she turned and stole back to the door and peeked through the window into the classroom.

  Miss Stricken had gotten the folded-up pages out of Fiona’s bag and was perusing them, strolling back and forth across the front of the room like the slow swing of a pendulum, a devastatingly ponderous motion. Fiona sat in her chair, her head bowed and her shoulders drawn together protectively.

  After reading the papers for an eternity or two, Miss Stricken dropped them on her desk and made some kind of brief statement, shaking her head in hopeless disbelief. Then she turned and walked out of the room.

  When Nell reached her, Fiona’s shoulders were still shaking silently. Nell put her arms around Fiona, who finally began to draw in sobbing breaths. During the next few minutes she gradually moved on to that stage of crying where the body seems to swell up and poach in its own fluids.

  Nell suppressed the urge to be impatient. She well knew, as did all of the other girls, that Fiona’s father had disappeared several years ago and never come back. He was rumored to be on an honorable and official mission; but as years went by this belief was gradually supplanted by the suspicion that something disgraceful had taken place. It would be easy enough for Nell to make the point that she had been through much worse. But seeing the depth of Fiona’s unhappiness, she had to consider the possibility that Fiona was in a worse situation now.

  When Fiona’s mother came by in a little half-lane car to pick her up, and saw her daughter’s red and ruinous face, an expression of black rage came over her own visage and she drove Fiona away without so much as a glance at Nell. Fiona showed up for church the next day as if nothing had happened and said nothing of it to Nell during the next week at school. In fact, Fiona hardly said a word to anyone, as she spent all of her time now daydreaming.

  When Nell and Fiona showed up at seven o’clock the next Saturday morning, they were astonished to find Miss Matheson waiting for them at the front of the classroom, sitting in her wood-and– wicker wheelchair, wrapped up in a thermogenic comforter.

  The stacks of books, paper, and fountain pens were not there, and their names had been removed from the plaque at the front of the room. “It’s a lovely spring day,” Miss Matheson said. “Let’s gather some foxgloves.”

  They went across the playing fields to the meadow where the wildflowers grew, the two girls walking and Miss Matheson’s wheelchair carrying her along on its many-spoked smart wheels.

  “Chiselled Spam,” Miss Matheson said, sort of mumbling it to herself.

  “Pardon me, Miss Matheson?” Nell said.

  “I was just watching the smart wheels and remembering an advertisement from my youth,” Miss Matheson said. “I used to be a thrasher, you know. I used to ride skateboards through the streets. Now I’m still on wheels, but a different kind. Got a few too many bumps and bruises during my earlier career, I’m afraid.”

  …

  “It’s a wonderful thing to be clever, and you should never think otherwise, and you should never stop being that way. But what you learn, as you get older, is that there are a few billion other people in the world all trying to be clever at the same time, and whatever you do with your life will certainly be lost-swallowed up in the ocean-unless you are doing it along with like-minded people who will remember your contributions and carry them forward. That is why the world is divided into tribes. T
here are many Lesser phyles and three Great ones. “What are the Great ones?”

  “New Atlantis,” Nell began.

  “Nippon,” said Fiona.

  “Han,” they concluded together.

  “That is correct,” Miss Matheson said. “We traditionally include Han in the list because of its immense size and age-even though it has lately been crippled by intestine discord. And some would include Hindustan, while others would view it as a riotously diverse collection of microtribes sintered together according to some formula we don’t get.

  “Now, there was a time when we believed that what a human mind could accomplish was determined by genetic factors. Piffle, of course, but it looked convincing for many years, because distinctions between tribes were so evident. Now we understand that it’s all cultural. That, after all, is what a culture is-a group of people who share in common certain acquired traits.

  “Information technology has freed cultures from the necessity of owning particular bits of land in order to propagate; now we can live anywhere. The Common Economic Protocol specifies how this is to be arranged.

  “Some cultures are prosperous; some are not. Some value rational discourse and the scientific method; some do not. Some encourage freedom of expression, and some discourage it. The only thing they have in common is that if they do not propagate, they will be swallowed up by others. All they have built up will be torn down; all they have accomplished will be forgotten; all they have learned and written will be scattered to the wind. In the old days it was easy to remember this because of the constant necessity of border defence. Nowadays, it is all too easily forgotten.

  “New Atlantis, like many tribes, propagates itself largely through education. That is the raison d’être of this Academy. Here you develop your bodies through exercise and dance, and your minds by doing projects. And then you go to Miss Stricken’s class.